The Whirling Circle

I stood outside the circle

A toe touching the rim

The flashing lights, the laughter

Joy filled up to the brim

I watched others whirl and dance

Twirling and pirouetting happily

I too sought but one chance

To swirl just as merrily

The giddy joy of belonging

To be one with chosen some

To be seen closely hobnobbing

With the rich and the handsome

To be in the lap of wealth

To laugh till giddy with pleasure

To grab and glow in good health

To enjoy boundless leisure

 

Just a toe slipped in

And I was drawn into the circle

But where was the acceptance?

Welcome, there was none.

To go with the flow

To keep up the momentum

To be thrown around

And have as much fun!

It was hard work

I felt thrown around

Battered and bruised

The weak thrown aground

Stepping on the bodies

I grope my way to the centre

I wear the mask that all wear

And try to enjoy the banter

All that seemed fun

Is really not so, I realise

Soon I lose my guile

As I feel the rising bile

The flashing lights 

Dim the mind

The twirling and swirling

Seems like just a grind

How to get out?

From this vicious circle

With only a nebulous entry

Even for the willing, no egress

I stopped the climb

Stood very still

Let the world move

Remained unmoved by will

The circle slowed

No, it was vanishing

The stronger I grew

The weaker became the twirling

What a wonder it was

The dizziness completely gone!

Where was the circle?

Where was its suffocating bond?

I turned back to see

A whirling shadow

I was out again

Without that same longing

Now there was brightness

Not the flashing kind

 A silence deep

Making me unwind

A smile, from the core

A heart light and brimming

Of joy unbound, body 

Floating and swimming

A lifetime, nay, many

To know this is illusion

To know I am lost

And I need liberation

Baby steps I take to escape

No circle, no path

Just a vastness to embrace

With no worries of acceptance

Arms open, it welcomes

In its glow it engulfs

From within and without I glow

In eternal gratitude I bow.