Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Careless Whispers

Words once uttered cannot be taken back. Like an arrow, it can find its mark and hurt. One can only hope at times that it misses its mark and is impotent.

Words spoken in confidence, spoken in anger, spoken in genuine concern - they can all misfire and come back in a form that is surprising and twisted out of context. It poisons the air for the person who said them, the person who heard them and the person about whom it was. And yet, though we may experience the consequences of our indiscretion - intended or not - the one lock for which there is no key is the mouth and we continue to exercise it as if our weight loss depends on it!

Recently on hearing Wham's Careless Whispers, I couldn't help recollecting the zillions of times I said something and it was misconstrued, causing heartache.

In all humility, I think if we learn not to mind the words but take in the essence, there will be less pain in the world. If someone has said something, to see if one can learn from what they intend saying rather than what they actually said. Not to take it back to them and fight about it, but be polite and keep one's distance, and try not to repeat the mistake. For there is a learning in every situation. And maybe in being bitched about too!

And...not to carry tale from one to another. If A bitches about B, not to think it our duty to immediately convey to B what was said by A. Maybe A said it in a context, and only to unburden, not for B to hear it. By being an unwitting conduit, we can only worsen the situation.

But the mouth, the loose mouth, the eager mouth...sigh! To control it is more difficult than a tsunami that visits only once in a whil.

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