Breaking records

As Olympians set and break records in various sports events, as India watches with bated breath and exhales slowly - sometimes contented and mostly disappointed but not very surprised - Chennai is making records of another sort. Children are slipping through holes in school vans. They are coming under the wheels of the vans they just got off from. Why, a tiny tot managed to come out of the house and place its head under the wheel when the unsuspecting mother was seeing her elder ones off and the driver didn't notice this new addition to the road!

Not one incident in a blue moon. Three reported in three days. How many not reported? How many injuries not worth reporting?

Do we need tragedies to rouse us and pay attention to safety norms? How long before we are lulled back to complacency?

The language they speak

What do you do when you hear 8 and 9 year olds saying the four letter word in your hearing, as well as that of their younger siblings/friends?

Mine is one of total shock. Am I being naive? Is it too much to want to teach children only age appropriate language and behaviour, or is that out of fashion too? How much should we monitor what our children are doing, learning? Does entering preteens and teens mean we can be hands off, expecting they will learn through trial and error, know what is right and wrong? Or, while allowing them to do that, do we also stand guard discreetly so that we guide them to filter and take a course that will help them become more discerning?

How much of unmonitored TV and internet time can be given? Or, is it a convenient tool meant specifically to keep them off our hair? It is just fantasy and will not affect their thinking, and I am splitting my hair unnecessarily by worrying about what they watch?

How relevant are moral stories and stories from mythology? Or are they a legacy of a past best left there? Who remembers them, or has the time to tell them to the young ones? Hand them a book and be done with it?

Visiting elders, friends and relatives? Who has the time? Eating out is so much fun! A trip to the amusement park, more amusing. Just being is too boring!

The perils of parenting are that much more today... Evolving times do bring their own changes. But where does one draw the line? Do Right and Wrong change with time? As parents, isn't it our responsibility to be clear on those lines and ensure we pass them on to the life entrusted to us?

Or is that passe too?

Waste - A Mark of Progress

"Waste is the highest virtue one can achieve in advanced capitalist society" - 'Dance, Dance, Dance' by Haruki Murakami. My second book by this author, he had me there as I read these lines.

And he goes on to say how he contributes to this waste by writing articles that take up reams of paper. It resonated with my thoughts.

We write, and we use paper and we cut trees.

We write, and we use our computers and use energy.

The need to speak, to be heard, to share and exchange ideas - a deep-rooted desire that does not go with time. The more we age, the more we have something to say... whether there is anyone to listen or not...


And this waste is just one kind of waste. What to talk of accumulation and display of wealth and material goods? Can anything change so long as our pursuit is measured by external standards? 

Presidential Candidate

FB shows up for what we are - jobless people with too many opinions to share.

I keep getting prompted - Kalam or Patil... And I feel sorry - for Kalam. Why do we hate him so much? So much so that we want him to be head of a completely corrupt, incorrigible state! That he should suffer the agonies of watching wrongs being ignored, rights being overshadowed, and sit back unable to do anything as the mere titular head of state?

What we need - why should I be left behind in expressing my worthless views - is a person who is a prince among thieves, is as brazen as the ruling party(s) in corruption, and can escape any accusations with silence or by turning against the accuser. Is drawn into court cases, but continues to hold office - we need stability, you see. Of course, there are no unturned stones left in corruption - every aspect of our public life seems to be mired in some scam or the other.

Now I know what we need. The man who can be so ingenuous that he can create a scam where none exists!  But maybe, too many candidates for that too?

Then, we would get the man we deserve. And then, maybe, just maybe, people like me will be forced to get out of our armchairs, stop merely observing, commenting and lamenting and do something constructive - bring about a revolution.

Turning a Blind Eye

"Oh my darling, my bundle of joy,"
They held the child close to their heart
Promising themselves they will forever
Cherish and protect this bundle so soft.

Routine, the key to maintain sanity
Trusting strangers to take care of the baby
As one rushes out to build own life
For the future of the little one to shine bright

The present marred by the stranger's hand
Probing, exploring where parents don't dare
Lost and frightened, the children shut up
Scared to even with parents open up

"Hey, look, you must take care"
Warns a friendly neighbour who dares
Only to be withered by a look that throbs
Defying and saying, "We know our job."

Don't turn a blind eye o parents dear
There are many beasts, we hear
Patiently waiting for a chance
Winning your trust perhaps.

The people you trust
A mask comes first
Hiding the beast
That lurks within.

A Little Bit of Sunlight

"Oh this heat!" we shut the daylight out, darken the windows, switch the AC on.

"My skin! Protect it!" when we have to step out we apply sunscreen to prevent tanning.

"Don't go in the sun!" we warn the children.

And it seems all this protection deprives us of Vitamin D, which leads to other bone problems. So now I have been recommended at least 15-30 minutes of exposure in midday sun to replete the Vit. D levels. To be done for a fortnight at least. This, despite the fact that I don't shy away from the sun, don't protect my skin with lotions and can be seen happily biking to places even during midday. What to say of those stuck indoors because of work?

A doctor once told me, it is a case of poverty amidst riches when I expressed surprise that Indians could suffer from this! Darker the skin worse the problem, it seems...

So take your daily dose of the sun. Yes, children still need to play in the shade, but just a few minutes of the sun can only be beneficial.

"Issued in public interest" :)

Sane Advice

I went for an unexpected meeting with a government department on some prospective work. Two senior doctors walked in as this was a health department. I was introduced as a journalist.

I like to make myself scarce at such times. My instinct was the same this time too, and though the person I went to meet tried to clarify this, the doctor didn't choose to hear.

He told me, "Please don't highlight only the negatives. There are many good things happening in the country, but they get hidden away in small paras. By writing only about the negative things, we give the impression as if there is nothing good about this country."

I smiled. "What is good about this country?" was the first question that came to my mind. But then I thought - wait. That's what the papers tell me. And yet, the man I came to meet was telling me passionately about one of the schemes that had taken sweat and toil to implement. He sounded passionate and proud of the achievement. Maybe, writing about it will not be breaking news. But yes, no one will get to know that there are people who are working too! There is no sensation in that! Only scams give us something to talk about.

The doctor went on to explain, "I can make money by doing anything as a doctor. But I must take care. A journalist's job is just as important. Don't write only to make money."

Well, doctor...that's a thought.

From the Babe's Mouth: Part IV

There were many things I wanted to write on. But this one took the cake!

As I was driving down tonight with the kids in the backseat, a bike insisted on honking me out to my left by trying to travel down the narrow path between my car and the median.

So I ranted a bit and told my kids never to ride like this once they grew up. "He is not only endangering himself, but also me!" I complained of the bike rider.

"You must say the other way - he is not only putting you in danger, but also himself." - said my daughter.

"No, what I mean is - if he wishes to meet with an accident, that's his problem. But by driving like this, he is also careless about the risk to others," I explained.

"Yes, and because he is making a mistake, god will punish him," my daughter replied. "But if he hits us, then it is also because we are being punished for something we did many days ago..." Then she thought. "So god has to remember all the mistakes we make and haven't been punished for." Then the realisation, "How will he remember the mistakes of all the people done at different times! So he has to do us good for the good we did and remember all our mistakes and punish us for that too."

We just laughed and she said, "He really must have heads in all directions."

Well, she is thinking quite a lot!

A Wall Post to Kapil Sibal

Dear Sibalji
You fear that seditious content on the Facebook can cause riots?

But then, anti corruption slogans have not made one whit of a difference in our politicians! Why do you think it will change the balance between the different sections of the society?

Aah! You have greater faith in people's sensitivity to comments than that of politicians? That makes better sense, of course! But we would like to see some effect on the thick skins of the politicians as well! Maybe you can get them to read the posts online, if it really is so powerful?

Hoping for the winds of change...

An FB user. 

One Earth: The Power Problem

One Earth: The Power Problem: One of the recent jokes on the SMS that I love: as the mobile, the net and something else compete as to who is going to rule the world, elec...

Anubavangal: Vattam

Anubavangal: Vattam: பள்ளிக்கூடம், வீடு. இதுதான் அவள் உலகம். அவள் வயதினர் எல்லாரும் மால், சினிமா என்று செல்வார்கள். இவளையும் ஓரிரண்டுமுறை அழைத்திருக்கிறார்கள். ஆ...

The Handy Camera

Well, I have seen the urge for people to stand next to celebrities and take a pic, even if the celebrity will not even remember having seen them, let alone their name or that they took a photo together.

And today, I saw the ultimate madness. Two men in an auto expo, making sure they posed next to every sedan and high end car - and there were quite a few of those: BMW, Audi, even a Porsche. They took turns to photograph the other with the car.

I just wished each had told the other to smile more and not look constipated. I was too amused to be able to suggest that to them.

Anubavangal: Cheenargalum Tharamum

Anubavangal: Cheenargalum Tharamum: சமீபத்தில் ஒரு புத்தகம் திருத்திக்கொண்டிருந்தேன். ஜப்பானில் தயாரிக்கப்படும் போருட்கள் என்றாலே ஒரு காலத்தில் தரம் இல்லை என்று பொருள். இன்று ந...

Are We Really Against Corruption?

Am I a cynic? I don't know. I should join in the applause to the way the average Indian Middle Class has risen up to the occasion and joined in the anti corruption movement. But somehow, when I see some of the people joining in... I am not sure we even understand what corruption is.

I believe doctors and school students are part of the campaign. And yet, hospitals, the entire medical system, the educational institutions - are they ready to clean up their acts before pointing fingers?

And then,  maybe 200 crores happens in the top levels. But the 100-200 happens at the bottom. It is people like the maids and the other with basic education that end up paying and taking money. Are they part of this movement? Are they aware? Will they want to be part of this movement since this is how they fulfill their aspirations?

Am I justifying bribes then? Or anti anti-corruption? Neither. I am just confused.

I feel it is not only about a change in the system, but also a change from within. Are we ready for this? Are we ready to wait patiently at signals, wait our turn in queues, abide by a law even if it is not in our favour, and not run after loopholes to our advantage? Are we ready not to go for the best hospital, best school, best seat, if it means paying money - whatever its name?

It is good, what Anna Hazare is doing. He is conscientious, and has high personal standards. His wants are  minimal and therefore, his transgressions- if any - would be unwitting. I have no doubt about that, or what he is fighting for.

But I believe that even while we must congregate in large numbers to show our support for the movement, we must also stand up in our own small worlds for causes that matter. We must also say - if this is right, I must and will do it. I am not sure I have that courage still, that I am not prevaricating a decision simply because it may not be convenient for me.

I hope that even while raising the cleanliness level in the political institutions, this movement cleans us up as people and makes us assess our priorities and change them for the greater good.

One Earth: Birds Drop Dead

One Earth: Birds Drop Dead: "'Birds began falling out of the sky' This is from a book on Iraqi Kurdistan, 'Love in a Torn Land'. The use of chemicals to kill Kurdis..."

All for Big Bucks

I am not a political writer, or too savvy about developments in the political world. My newspaper reading is cursory at best, and many a times, comics are the only things I read.

I received a mail today from an organisation that conducted a debate on the need for Lokpal Bill. The summary points further summarised - we already have laws to deal with bribes. Implement them. Lokpal Bill only adds a layer and can go the same way as CVC and the investigative agencies. It ends by lauding Anna Hazare for bringing the issue of corruption to the forefront.

Indeed, today he is in preventive custody. The government - the president and the prime minister - are playing with words. The government is finding excuses, digging up dirt just to weaken the movement. But the question is, to what end? Will the people of India, now coming together as India Against Corruption sit quietly if Hazare is removed? Well, in one way, the government has added teeth to the movement. Talk of cutting one's nose to spite one's face!

What shakes me up is the question - is the government so weak that it is scared to tighten its belt, take action and deal with corruption? Is it enough to put Raja and Kalmadi behind bars?

Again and again, only one image comes up in my mind... the dhoti clad Indian politician rolling in wealth and then dying amidst all that money in sheer joy. How will he transport it to the next world then! If we Indians believe in destiny and fate, weren't we also taught about karma - the other, bigger ledger maintained by Chitragupta? Maybe it is unfashionable to believe in gods these days, but at least that kept us in check to some extent. Now we neither believe in gods, nor our own conscience... It's all about money, honey.

Anubavangal: Porulaathaaram irunthum manathil ethu thaaraalam? ...

Anubavangal: Porulaathaaram irunthum manathil ethu thaaraalam? ...: "நான் நமது நாட்டு தலைவரின் சுதந்திர தின பேச்சை நான் கேட்கவில்லை. ஆனால் ஹிந்துப்பத்திரிகையில் தலைப்பு படித்தேன். லஞ்சத்திற்கு எதிரான போராட்டத..."

Keeping a Watch Every Moment

Today Hindu Metro Plus has an article on Child Sexual Abuse. As the writer rightly points out - Nov 19 is not World Day for Prevention of CSA, everyday is.

Educators, parents, all adults have a responsibility towards every child to give them a peaceful, stress free life, most importantly, one that lets them grow up learning only those things appropriate to their ages. There is sense in our traditional system which does not encourage unmonitored mingling between the sexes - it reduces the possibility of abuse. Making children aware so that they do not become victims is important.

But here, I also want to stress - bringing them up in a way that they do not become perpetrators later is also important. Though for every parent their child can do no wrong, it is children who grow up to be adults who perpetrate such beastly acts. And I think, it happens when they have been exposed to wrongs themselves. Giving them respect as children, and teaching them to respect others are important. Giving right priorities, teaching them to focus within and find peace there will help maintain emotional balance.

Similarly, while dealing with those around us, I think we should keep that respect. Many acts like stealing, cheating and abuse of the vulnerable can happen with a desire to take revenge. Be it a driver, the maid or anyone from economically backward segments, treating them as human beings is important.

We cannot eradicate this overnight. But if we reduce the propensity to offend by creating a positive atmosphere around us and increasing awareness, maybe we will go back to days when we do not have to keep a hawk's eye on our children all the time, do not look at every casual interaction with suspicion.

May we find peace in this lifetime.

Anubavangal: Santhi Nilava Vendum - May Peace Reign

Anubavangal: Santhi Nilava Vendum - May Peace Reign: "கீழே போய் விளையாடு என்று சொல்வதற்குக்கூட தாய்மார்கள் பயப்படுவார்கள் என்று நான் நினைக்கவில்லை. சில பிரச்னைகள் மேற்க்கத்திய நாடுகளில்தான் நடக்..."

One Earth: The Gender Imbalance

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