Sat-Chit-Anandam

What do you want? What do I want? What does anyone want? Fundamentally, only to be happy.

And, in essence, what do our Hindu scriptures say? You have the ability to be happy regardless of what you have or you don't. Just be with yourself. Connect with yourself. Know yourself.

We find it difficult? Fine, yes, the mind wanders all over the place, seeking all kinds of pleasures. It rakes up the past and fears for the future. Never mind. Here it is - take what you want, perform these rituals. Go to these temples. Worship these deities... 

What are the deities, really? Discovering the depths in iconography is one of the most beautiful parts of self-discovery. For they are not just someone somewhere doing something. Understanding the significance of these deities helps us understand our own life, feelings, and how to travel through this life.

Lord Siva, for instance, is often depicted in meditation or dancing. Two diametrically different aspects, both helping us connect with ourselves and letting go of the world around us.

Mahavishnu is also often seen as Ranganatha or Padmanabha, reclining in a half-sleep state, dreaming and watching, unruffled or undisturbed, enjoying the projection of dreams, creating worlds, problems, drama and what not. He Himself remains unaffected. And we are the characters in that drama.

When we visit temples, learning the significance of the temple is one simple way to connect with the deity. We can carry our prayers and silently commune with the divine. We can go within ourselves and find our own strengths in the divine presence to find ways to deal with whatever life pushes our way. We can know that whatever may go wrong on the outside, we are still protected and safe if we can but anchor ourselves in the divine, surrender at its feet.

Kanchipuram Varadaraja Perumal Gopuram

And so, when temples become noisy and conversations flow unhindered, I am reminded of a statement by Swami Guruparanandaji in one of his talks - meditation and contemplation need solitude and temples are not for that. Yes, I can see that and I wonder why.

Temples were a social hub in the past. The many praharams gave people space to 'hang out' back in days when the temple and the streets around it bustled with life and were the only go to places to spend time and enjoy. 

But today, we have cafes, malls and what not for that. The overall temple spaces have shrunk. Though outer praharams continue to allow us to let our hair down, as we get closer to the sanctum sanctorum, can't we put the brakes to the wagging tongues and racing hearts? Can't we slowly drop the concerns of the world outside and go into our selves? Can't we leave the stress and the tension behind and find peace and calm? 

Why are we averse to being silent? Does silence scare us? Does it oppress us? Are we afraid to be by ourselves, alone? Are we insecure in our relationships where words are absent? Do we need the constant exchange of words to know it thrives? Can't we just learn to listen to the silence and know everything is right with the world, our world?

Can we learn to experience the Sat-Chit-Ananda in the safety of the temple walls, at least, if not anywhere else?

I wonder what it will take.

Teaching - An Art, Not Just a Skill

 I found a new message in Instagram from a stranger once a couple of years ago. I was wary, of course, but the way she had worded the message intrigued me.

Aptly, Buddha in the background

"I learnt music from Mrs Rajalakshmi Sampath in 2008." And some additional details about herself. She was referring to my mom, and that kind of made me pause. 

I saw her DP and knew that I didn't know her. I shared it with my mom, asking her if she recalled this person. "Yes, of course, she and her sister used to learn music when she was in school," she said.

So I responded, amazed that she had made the connection. I told her that my mom remembered her and asked her about what she was doing now.

She told me that she was married and lived abroad. That it's been 16 years, but even now when she sang, she would remember my mom. 

Hearing her sing, she was encouraged by her friends to resume learning. But, though she had, the new teacher was nothing like my mom. "I missed her very much. So I started searching for Mam's name in google. It gave me the link to the video you uploaded in 2017 saying my mother." 

That led her to looking for me on Insta and reaching out when she did.

I was touched and proud, of course. 

But this is not the first time I have heard about mom's teaching methdology. Many of her students in later years were women working for a government office, taking time off during lunch to learn. They all remain in touch whenever they can, ever grateful to her for trusting in them and giving them opportunities to give public performances. One lady even told me, "I was told I could never learn how to pace my singing. But your mother taught me all about talam. Even my nephew (a renowned artist) is amazed."

And, most just love her for her cheerful and positive manner.

Teaching is an art. Sometimes, it is not so much about making someone perfect as inspiring them to discover themselves and keep pursuing the journey so that they can excel. I found that kind of an approach in the Montessori system when my kids were studying there. My own dance teachers have shown me the way while being very patient with my errors and oversights. It gave me confidence and the desire to do better.

Many of my mother's students may not have continued learning music itself. But uniformly one thing they say about her - across ages, including a college going girl recently - that some word she drops while teaching helps them deal with their own life and its challenges better. That they enjoy the class not just for the music, but because it cheers them up, makes them feel confident, believe in themselves.

The original conversation with the student happened quite a while ago. I was reminded of this recently when one of my friends sent me a link about a story challenge - to write about two women in a conversation that is not about a man. I thought this was a good topic. An inspiring teacher and mentor who turned a student's life.

But as I mulled over it, I wondered why it had to be a fiction. It happened in real. It happens constantly. I keep having conversations with my mom's students who time and again mention this. Why make it a story and let the person behind it slip into a vague, idyllic world? 

Recently, many would have seen a video about toxic gurus. That is also a reality. But so is this. 

She is real. She is here. 

And anybody can be her too.

A teacher is in a unique position to not only share a talent or a skill. That is a technique and important. But not enough.

Those who learn do so because they don't know what you know about the art. Be kind and share. But, more importantly, many could be young and lost too. Be there for them, anchoring them not just in the art, but also revealing its subtle power and divinity that can lead us through challenging times with greater equanimity. 

Be a mentor, a friend, philosopher and guide. 

Give love. Be loved.   

Beyond the Surface - Appa

The Emergance
Till I was 13 or 14, my memories of my father are more transactional. I remember I would go to him for illustrations when doing homework because I couldn't draw. He would pick me up from dance class in Karol Bagh sometimes and bring me back home, but the journey would be mostly in silence. At night, before he went to sleep, he would tell me stories and start drifting off half way while I sat next to him and tried to nudge him back on track (yes, it would be bedtime for him and storytime for me). 

Rameshwaram - Beneath the Surface

In every village in Tamil Nadu, it is common to find a Shiva temple, a Vishnu temple and the gramadevata temple. There will be many other temples too, of course - dedicated to Ganesha, Muruga, and so on - some with historical significance and some that have just come up as a result of devotees' desire to see one in their neighbourhood. 

So, when visiting a place, it is up to us to choose to go to 1, 2 all 3 main temples based on our family's belief system. For instance, if you go to Kumbakonam, you have the Kumbeshwara temple dedicated to Lord Shiva, and Chakrapani, Sarangapani, and Ramaswamy temples for Vishnu. Uppiliappan is normally our first destination as He is our family deity. In Srirangam, there is the Vishnu temple that cannot be missed and Thiruvanaikkaval Shiva temple nearby is equally famous. 

One may say, how does it matter who the presiding deity is. A temple is a place of worship and our prayers is all that matters. I beg to disagree. There is a subtle difference in the energy one feels in each temple. In Siva temple, there is no form to distract us, only a lingam to represent the infinite. It is more subtle, more meditative, more calm.

In Vishnu temples, the deity is more resplendent, bedecked in jewels, with his consorts by his side and other devatas too surrounding Him, depending on the kshetra. Here, with the sanctified water and sadari, the devotee gets more than mere darshan. The lure is His beauty that captivates and binds us to Him in a different way. 

Wild for Wildlife

As our jeep traversed the rough and smooth terrain of Tadoba looking for the tiger which could have been hiding just behind any bush on the path and yet go undetected, I wondered at this feverish desire we have for sighting tigers, lions and leopards. As these thoughts persisted and I thought of penning it, I felt they were not new and searched through my archives. Right enough, I found this blog I had written exactly a year back: Tiger = Maya (https://meera-lastingimpressions.blogspot.com/2023/10/tiger-maya.html).

Desires breed desires and this passion for tiger sighting too hasn't died even after a year. But not just for me - after all, I go on these trips only once in a while. Even those who go often seem to find the lure unabating. The more good photographs they get, the more the desire to capture the moments. 

The View

Sundar unpacked his bags and looked out the window of the modest accommodation he had been allotted in the village. The fields spread out for miles around, intersected by roads carrying speeding cars. Very few commuters turned into the village itself but played touch-and-go with the cafe on the main road. A branch of a popular chain, this particular outlet was not very profitable but was sustainable and surviving because of some travelers who preferred its hygienic interiors to some of the more seedy messes nearby. But those messes, in fact, made more money because the local populace thronged there.

The Stoic Hills

The mighty mountains
Silent and still
Unwavering in the
Temperamental wind

The Safari Food Chain

Food chain, you have studied all about it in class 6 or 7, I am sure. Seen a diagrammatic representation, I am sure. Probably drew a crappy version of it too. 

Even in the corporate world, you would have heard of how the hierarchy works - like a food chain, each level eating the one below to grow bigger. Politics is no exception and probably closer to the jungle raj than anything else.

But, food chain in the safari!?

The Noble Man

Initially, I was amused. And then I was thinking.

Rama sent his wife to the forest, but Ravana, the so-called demon, never touched Sita. What a noble man!

His anger was aroused on seeing his sister in agony because of her face being mutilated. He immediately set out to avenge her humiliation.

The Insignificant I

Wave after wave
of generations rise and fall
In that tumble of people
I am less than a little drop

A World of Make-Believe

 I love reading books and watching movies. More than movies, the books. Because, you can drift into a wonderland, imagine how it would be, be a part of the scene witnessing the events without becoming involved.

But after I put the book down, sometimes I am in that world, imagining conversations and scenes between the character and me. At one point, though, the futility of it hits me. Unless I want to write fan fiction, I can see that that character and my paths will never cross. I am not a character in the book and nobody writes me into a book, not even me. Some aspects of me may be reflected in some characters I write, but the dialogues the character speaks or the actions and behaviour are not necessarily unique to me.

Knots

The knot. 

It begins by being useful. It binds and holds things together. It can be removed easily and so there is no cause for worry either.

If you pull an end and the knot gets removed easily, fine, but pull it the wrong way... That's it. Especially when you are in a hurry to untie it, everything you do will only tighten the knot and seal its, and your, fate completely. 

The Mind Game

I had often wondered as a young girl, why the Vedic Indians who were far ahead in understanding the world, the cosmos, mathematics, and physics did nothing for human psychology. The tying up of mentally ill patients in temples, the neem treatment or just being resigned to fate when people in the family were afflicted with mental ailments hardly seems evolved and, in fact, it seems insensitive and crude.

Wipe the Slate Clean

We decided we needed to make space in our house and optimise the use of existing shelves. It began with segregating clothes, into:
1. What we will definitely wear
2. What we wear every other day but should not because - yes, the cloth is soft and it was beautiful when we got it, but now it is beyond recognition and must absolutely be thrown
3. Grand, but sorry, too itchy, dazzling and not the kind we would wear ever though it looks brand new.

Thoughts on Women's Day

Frankly, I have none
For I don't feel like one
I am a free spirit
Taking one body now
And changing it next minute

5 Reasons to Stop Thinking

Like the breath, thoughts flow constantly. Surrounding us completely, demanding our attention, the constant stream can be as joyous as swimming with the current, or as challenging as against it.

When joyous thoughts surround us, we rarely give it a thought - pardon the pun. But the trouble is, it is never only that.

Hidden Layers in Idols

Last night, my older one sat me down to explain the principle behind the idol of Lord Nataraja and why it is present in CERN, as told to her by her Tamil teacher. Since I am a dancer, he wanted her to explain it to me.

Though I decided I will blog about it, it slipped my mind this morning. But a speech I saw by Sri Narendra Modi on feeling pride in Indian technology and how idols and statues code some of them symbolically, reminded me of this.

Winning Without Running

"Today my friend became emotional when I tried to motivate her," my older one told me, eager to share the details.

"What happened?" I asked.

The school is gearing up for sports day this Saturday. "We had hurdles practice today and twice she toppled the hurdle. She felt bad that she was not contributing to her house's success... But she had crossed it the third time! I told her to focus on that."

"That's nice," I said encouragingly.

The PT sir does not take the girls seriously - this has been my sports-loving daughter's complaint for long. But she used that to her advantage. "I told her that PT sir has no expectations of her. So when she toppled it, it didn't bother him. But when she crossed it, he was so pleased! That made her think!"

I smiled, happy about her insight.

"I remembered what you told me when I was upset two years ago with my previous PT sir, and I told her the same things."

"Oh really?" I was piqued.

"In football, he used to keep the girls in the background and I would get frustrated. But you told me that I must be alert and take every chance to prove myself even there... I told my friend not to worry about what the PT sir or anyone thought. I gave her tips on how to improve her running and how to compete only with herself, bettering her performance every time."

She elaborated this some more. "I told her to remember how she was when she was younger. She has come second in running and hurdles! I gave her tips on how to improve her performance by setting targets for herself."

That night, my daughter dug out old sports day photos where she stood first and her friend second and sent it by whatsapp to her friend to encourage her further. Her friend posted her own progress that evening in the team sports coaching she goes for.

Meanwhile, my son, not to be outdone, told me, "My friend also used to be slow and asked me for tips. I made four of them improve their speeds by setting time for them and giving them tips."

The two started sharing details of the tips - some of which they have learnt in Karate and have practiced at home, motivating each other to improve their timing.

I was dazed as I sank into a self-congratulatory mode. But their conversation brought me back to reality. I sat up alert. "Hey, if you share all the tips with your friends, they are going to defeat you in the races!"

"That's okay, ma," they replied in unison. "They are our friends. We don't mind their winning."

I felt they had won even without running... 

Breaking Moulds, Aspiring for More

I recently received this forward:
In 'Three Idiots', Aamir Khan said we must allow children to pursue their dreams.
In 'Taare Zameen Par', he said children need not pursue any dreams.
In 'Dangal' he says, make your children fulfill your dreams.
How confusing.

Man(un)kind

The horrible videos of the suffering of children in Aleppo makes one wonder about the perpetrators of such crimes. Whatever be the cause of the fight, is it so much more important than lives? Is it just the piece of land, or the politics or the fragile ego that is more important?