The Poor Copy

"We have been waiting for you all day," Shilpa said with wide-eyed wonder seeing her nephew at the door. Raj was looking dapper in his grey suit, white shirt and red tie. His cropped hair highlighted the leanness of his face, his sharp jawline a proof of his efficiency and focus.

He smiled sparingly and walked in past his aunt with a nod. "There was cocktail and dinner after the full-day seminar, but I couldn't refuse your persistent invitation," he said, smartly weaving in the fact that he was giving up something better for having dinner with them.


Shilpa missed the insinuation and beamed. "I know you cannot refuse your aunt. Why can't you stay with us tonight? I am sure the hotel will not be comfortable," she continued to fuss over him.

"Ma," her son Raju, interrupted with exasperation. "Raj is staying in a five star hotel. What can be more comfortable?" he asked. Shilpa slapped him lightly on her way into the kitchen.

Raj greeted his cousin and namesake with a nod and shrugged. "Home is home," he replied cryptically.

Raju gave his older cousin a sceptical look and smiled sardonically. "I am sure. And five-star a five-star." Before Raj could retort, Raju continued, "So you are here for a seminar?"

"Yes. As a matter of fact, I gave a talk - on how AI will impact financial solutions market," Raj replied with a grave expression. But his eyes betrayed his pride. Raju raised an eyebrow and whistled. "So what are you up to these days? Did the reference I gave you work out?" Raj continued.

Shilpa brough a plate of bhel puri and a glass of water. "Raj didn't follow it up," she grimaced.

"Oh, why?" Raj asked irritably. "He is a very big man and will think badly of me," he added with evident displeasure.

"He wanted me to join as sales executive. I have more experience than that!" Raju said with suppressed anger.

"Yes, but your track record is not so good, is it?" Raj asked before he could stop himself. Raju's eyes flashed. "Not stayed in any job for more than, what, three months? Six months at the most?" Raj drove his point in.

Before Raju could flare up, Shilpa piped in, "Oh Raj, advice him. Tell him to keep his temper under check and focus on getting a job!"

"Aunt Shilpa, I can only give references provided he is serious about getting a job!"

Shilpa lowered her head and said, "I named him after you, thinking he will be just like you. You were always so focused, so charming, so brilliant! Such an even tempered. Raju gets into a fight with everyone even today!"

Raj sat silent in embarrassment. Raju's lips curled contemptuously. "You never wanted me to be me. Only like him!"

Shilpa had tears in her eyes. "I only wanted the best for you. And I was not wrong, was I? See how Raj has come up in life. He is giving talks. You are not even eligible to attend any!"

"And who made me this way? You! Constantly comparing me. Telling me to be like him and never liking it if I did anything on my own," Raju demanded.

"What did you ever do on your own?" she would not stop.

"I wanted to pursue sports. I was good at football, won the best goalie award. But father threw it away and warned me against playing ever. Why? Because this man here," Raju waved towards Raj, "never played a sport in his life!"

"And father was right! May his soul rest in peace! Sports does not get you bread! You need a good job for that! He admired Raj and wanted you to be like him? How can you say he was wrong? "

"Because I am not like him, I can never be like him! This is not what I am meant for!" Raju shouted.

Raj grimaced, wondering why he had left the comfort of the party to be part of this abhorrent scene. "Raju, control yourself... The deed is done..."

But Raju was besides himself. "No Raj, it's not! It's not done. It is always present continuous, it is always continuing. There is never an end to it. Every morning, I get up listening to this - Raj is doing this, Raj is doing that... What are you doing? Even if I want to feel proud of you, I can't! I hate you! You understand? I don't envy you, your success or your capabilities. I just plain hate you."

Raj got up swiftly. "I didn't come here to be insulted!"

Shilpa was aghast. "What are you doing, Raju! You can't treat him like this! You have never spoken like this before! Why are you saying such horrible things?"

"Because you have been horrible to me all my life, making me feel like a failure! And I am fed up today. I can't take it any longer! I am not him, I can never be him and I am not good enough for you! So long as he lives, I will always fall short of your expectations!" In a flash, he grabbed a metal vase kept on the centre table and hit Raj hard on the head.

Raj looked at him stunned and then slowly crumpled to the floor. Shilpa screamed, Raju stood trembling, his hand raised to hit again if Raj stood up.

But Raj didn't. "Now there is nothing left to compare," Raju said, dropping the vase and slowly turned to his mother. She looked at him astounded and stupefied. "See, ma? You cannot compare anymore..." She swallowed. He slowly went to her and hugged her. "The only thing left to do is die like him?' Is that what you want to say, ma? 'If he can die, why can't you?'" His voice broke.

Shilpa sobbed, hugging her son back.