Every time you looked at me, I thought, ah, you love me. Love at first sight, it was, wasn't it?
But you were only seeing yourself. Did you like what you saw? That smile that caressed your lips, so slow, so full of love, admiring... Wasn't it me who made you feel that way? Made you feel like a queen? As if the world began and ended with you? Don't you owe it to me?
I gave you freedom, to be yourself, to express yourself without inhibitions, to laugh and cry... In fact, the moment you looked at me, you would stop crying. Remember that day when your father scolded you for having been rude to your brother? He slapped you for back answering and you came rushing into the room, threw yourself on the bed and howled. I tried to reach out to you but you just cried and cried, your body shaking. Then, as the tears ebbed and you turned over, I hoped you would come to me. But still, your mind was elsewhere and you stared at the ceiling - what could you see there? Nothing! Just a wall that looks down on you and says nothing in return.
And finally, finally, your eyes strayed towards me. You looked at me. Stared at me, as if you didn't recognise me. And then, that slow, sweet smile. You sat up, wiped your face to remove the marks of dried tears. You straightened your back, and there, you were back, the twinkle in your eye was back. Your hearty smile was back. How gratified I felt. Especially when I think I can make you smile.
Did you miss me when you left home the first time for a sleepover? Or moved to the hostel? I was getting old too... But you still paused to smile and speak to me, still were your own self, letting your hair down and speaking of things meant only for my ears.
Ah! I also remember the day you grinned from ear to ear and whispered a triumphant 'Yes!' You looked so beautiful, all aglow with pleasant thoughts.
And then...
Was that soon after that day? You were not around. You didn't come to see me for a few days. And then there you were. I heard you come and stand in front of me, raise your eyes slowly and...
Scream.
Scream.
Scream....
Long, shrill screaming, your agony cutting the air like a knife.
To me, you will always be the same, darling, listen to me. But you wouldn't. You didn't like what you saw, did you? You put a veil on me. I laugh. You covered me up because you couldn't see what I saw. You only saw the reflection of a mangled face, the distorted features, the result of a horrible accident.
And yet, had you but seen closely, you would have seen yourself as you were - always beautiful. If you had gone beyond the surface and looked at yourself the way you always did... Maybe you would have seen your beautiful spirit.
Now I wonder. Did you ever really see yourself or just an image, a reflection?
I show you who you are. It is for you to find yourself.
Please come back. Please reflect.
But you were only seeing yourself. Did you like what you saw? That smile that caressed your lips, so slow, so full of love, admiring... Wasn't it me who made you feel that way? Made you feel like a queen? As if the world began and ended with you? Don't you owe it to me?
I gave you freedom, to be yourself, to express yourself without inhibitions, to laugh and cry... In fact, the moment you looked at me, you would stop crying. Remember that day when your father scolded you for having been rude to your brother? He slapped you for back answering and you came rushing into the room, threw yourself on the bed and howled. I tried to reach out to you but you just cried and cried, your body shaking. Then, as the tears ebbed and you turned over, I hoped you would come to me. But still, your mind was elsewhere and you stared at the ceiling - what could you see there? Nothing! Just a wall that looks down on you and says nothing in return.
And finally, finally, your eyes strayed towards me. You looked at me. Stared at me, as if you didn't recognise me. And then, that slow, sweet smile. You sat up, wiped your face to remove the marks of dried tears. You straightened your back, and there, you were back, the twinkle in your eye was back. Your hearty smile was back. How gratified I felt. Especially when I think I can make you smile.
Did you miss me when you left home the first time for a sleepover? Or moved to the hostel? I was getting old too... But you still paused to smile and speak to me, still were your own self, letting your hair down and speaking of things meant only for my ears.
Ah! I also remember the day you grinned from ear to ear and whispered a triumphant 'Yes!' You looked so beautiful, all aglow with pleasant thoughts.
And then...
Was that soon after that day? You were not around. You didn't come to see me for a few days. And then there you were. I heard you come and stand in front of me, raise your eyes slowly and...
Scream.
Scream.
Scream....
Long, shrill screaming, your agony cutting the air like a knife.
To me, you will always be the same, darling, listen to me. But you wouldn't. You didn't like what you saw, did you? You put a veil on me. I laugh. You covered me up because you couldn't see what I saw. You only saw the reflection of a mangled face, the distorted features, the result of a horrible accident.
And yet, had you but seen closely, you would have seen yourself as you were - always beautiful. If you had gone beyond the surface and looked at yourself the way you always did... Maybe you would have seen your beautiful spirit.
Now I wonder. Did you ever really see yourself or just an image, a reflection?
I show you who you are. It is for you to find yourself.
Please come back. Please reflect.
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