"Very impressive singing," the message made her look at the sender a second time. The sender was a good singer himself.
So she replied, "Thank you. You sing very well too."
"That means a lot. I didn't know the song, but loved your rendition. Wanted to join your collab."
She felt elated. Yes, she loved the song he was referring to and had put in better than her best. "I wouldn't have guessed! You sounded very comfortable," she returned the compliment.
He talked about the music director. She responded listing her own favourite songs by that man. Then they discussed other favourite musicians and soon, it became a ritual. Anecdotes, incidents and jokes slowly gave way to a little bit about their families. He was married, had a teenaged son and a younger daughter. Her two children were well into the teens, and sometimes all she was doing was lecturing. "Affects my voice," she confided. "Sometimes I don't even feel like singing," she let him know, feeling he would understand it in a way none of her loving family did.
"Never think like that! Music is a great mood enhancer. Hey, by the way, chatting here is difficult as I rarely come to this app. Can we chat over phone?"
She hesitated. App gave a certain anonymity while phone number made it too intimate. But in the nearly three months (really!) they had chatted, he had won her trust. She hesitated and he did not pursue the matter. Her respect for him increased. The next time he asked, she was going to share it. But, meanwhile, their exchanges continued. Strange memories that she had never shared with her husband, ennobling insights that her children would never understand, shocking thoughts she didn't know she possessed found expression as her fingers directly typed what the mind dictated.
It was so...satisfying. Yes, that was the word. She looked forward to the conversations, and from the way he replied promptly, she assumed he did too. So when he asked her for her number a second time, she gave it to him willingly.
He called her promptly. Why did she blush so much! It was going to be just more of what they always chatted about - music and life. But the way she giggled and felt excited as she spoke to him, anyone would have thought she had other feelings for him. Even her husband must have thought so, for he looked at her askance. "A friend, after a long time," she lied. Truth be told, it was more than music and life. He asked for a photo so he could put a face to the name, something recent and different from the display picture in the app. He asked her about the city she lived in, the culture there and talked about his own surroundings.
"When is a good time to call you? I keep rereading our chats long after we are done, you know," he told her.
"When are we ever done?" she laughed. "Do we really need to speak? It's hard to say when I am free. Why don't you ping me when you are free?" she replied.
"I am free now," he typed promply.
She laughed as she typed, "Not now. Kids need dinner." Truth be told, she could have taken the call but didn't want to speak when her family was around. It seemed sinful, somehow.
She had to contain her excitement every time he pinged and preferred to speak only when no one else was around. But every time she couldn't speak to him only increased her eagerness. She went out on sudden errands just to speak to him. To avoid rousing her husband's suspicions, she devoted more time for her family, but always, it was filled with thoughts of him. They commented on each other's DPs, shared some pictures - of themselves, of their families. Music, the reason they connected, was but a part of all that they wanted to tell each other.
"Do you think if we had met earlier, we could have got married?" he asked her one day.
She tried to prevaricate, "Everything is as god wills." But this thought had crossed her mind several times in the past. Not that she was unhappy in her current marriage, but of late, her husband hardly featured in her life in any significant way. Would this co-singer of hers have made a better husband, a more understanding one?
"Yes, it is... We can't change what has happened. But do you think it could have been possible? In an alternate universe, is it already happening?" His voice, so soft, so intimate... So persuasive. What did she think? Of a life with this man?
"Maybe... Maybe we can make it happen now too..." she whispered softly.
He was silent for a beat. "You have made me so happy... So elated... I don't think I am going to be able to sleep! Or do anything..."
She laughed and asked huskily, a sudden longing swamping her, "Shall we plan something? Maybe a day's trip somewhere? Just the two of us?"
There was a pause again. She smiled. He must be reeling in disbelief at her suggesting this. She giggled, waiting for his elated exclamation.
"I didn't expect this," he said, his tone inscrutable.
She laughed. "Nor did I! But, you are right, it is happening in an alternate universe and I want to experience in this one too..." she said with a new found firmness.
"I didn't expect this from you! I... I have this image of you and... I can't believe you just said what you did!" he said.
She sensed his hurt and disappointment. She didn't know how to react. "But you too feel that way about me, don't you?"
"Feel... feel! And I cherish that feeling. But it is to be worshipped, not muddied!"
Her face changed colour. She felt humiliated. Tears of indignation flowed down her cheeks. "Do you realise how difficult this was for me? I am not a cheap woman. I thought we had something special." She cut the call. She turned to find her husband standing there. Her heart skipped a beat, but he seemed unaware of the storm brewing in her heart. "Is something wrong?" he asked in surprise. She quickly put on a mask and exclaimed something inane that would reassure him.
As the evening progressed, she thought he would call back, apologise, tell her he had been joking, suggest a place... As night fell, her disappointent knew no bounds. She wasn't cheap. He should have been flattered. If only he met her once, he would know what a privilege it was to have her ask him. How many hopefuls she had rejected when she was single. Even after being married, she could see how men worshipped her. Why, men lusted for her. And she had ignored them all!
She messaged him, alternately angry and loving. When there was no response, she was demanding and pleading. Her disappointment turned to frustration as he replied with silence. Her eyes were always on her phone, and her ears tuned to the message alert. She went to the singing app only to see if he had posted any new recordings. She joined his invites but was disappointed when he did not acknowledge. When she asked him why, he blocked her.
Blocked her. Blocked her. Blocked her... Had he blocked her on Whatsapp too? If she called him?
He cut the call. Or let it ring without responding.
She lost sleep, lost appetite, her body trembled, and everything became bleak and hopeless. The effort to pretend normalcy in front of her family tore her apart.
She couldn't take it any more.
She decided to end it all.
That day, she ended it all.
So she replied, "Thank you. You sing very well too."
"That means a lot. I didn't know the song, but loved your rendition. Wanted to join your collab."
She felt elated. Yes, she loved the song he was referring to and had put in better than her best. "I wouldn't have guessed! You sounded very comfortable," she returned the compliment.
He talked about the music director. She responded listing her own favourite songs by that man. Then they discussed other favourite musicians and soon, it became a ritual. Anecdotes, incidents and jokes slowly gave way to a little bit about their families. He was married, had a teenaged son and a younger daughter. Her two children were well into the teens, and sometimes all she was doing was lecturing. "Affects my voice," she confided. "Sometimes I don't even feel like singing," she let him know, feeling he would understand it in a way none of her loving family did.
"Never think like that! Music is a great mood enhancer. Hey, by the way, chatting here is difficult as I rarely come to this app. Can we chat over phone?"
She hesitated. App gave a certain anonymity while phone number made it too intimate. But in the nearly three months (really!) they had chatted, he had won her trust. She hesitated and he did not pursue the matter. Her respect for him increased. The next time he asked, she was going to share it. But, meanwhile, their exchanges continued. Strange memories that she had never shared with her husband, ennobling insights that her children would never understand, shocking thoughts she didn't know she possessed found expression as her fingers directly typed what the mind dictated.
It was so...satisfying. Yes, that was the word. She looked forward to the conversations, and from the way he replied promptly, she assumed he did too. So when he asked her for her number a second time, she gave it to him willingly.
He called her promptly. Why did she blush so much! It was going to be just more of what they always chatted about - music and life. But the way she giggled and felt excited as she spoke to him, anyone would have thought she had other feelings for him. Even her husband must have thought so, for he looked at her askance. "A friend, after a long time," she lied. Truth be told, it was more than music and life. He asked for a photo so he could put a face to the name, something recent and different from the display picture in the app. He asked her about the city she lived in, the culture there and talked about his own surroundings.
"When is a good time to call you? I keep rereading our chats long after we are done, you know," he told her.
"When are we ever done?" she laughed. "Do we really need to speak? It's hard to say when I am free. Why don't you ping me when you are free?" she replied.
"I am free now," he typed promply.
She laughed as she typed, "Not now. Kids need dinner." Truth be told, she could have taken the call but didn't want to speak when her family was around. It seemed sinful, somehow.
She had to contain her excitement every time he pinged and preferred to speak only when no one else was around. But every time she couldn't speak to him only increased her eagerness. She went out on sudden errands just to speak to him. To avoid rousing her husband's suspicions, she devoted more time for her family, but always, it was filled with thoughts of him. They commented on each other's DPs, shared some pictures - of themselves, of their families. Music, the reason they connected, was but a part of all that they wanted to tell each other.
"Do you think if we had met earlier, we could have got married?" he asked her one day.
She tried to prevaricate, "Everything is as god wills." But this thought had crossed her mind several times in the past. Not that she was unhappy in her current marriage, but of late, her husband hardly featured in her life in any significant way. Would this co-singer of hers have made a better husband, a more understanding one?
"Yes, it is... We can't change what has happened. But do you think it could have been possible? In an alternate universe, is it already happening?" His voice, so soft, so intimate... So persuasive. What did she think? Of a life with this man?
"Maybe... Maybe we can make it happen now too..." she whispered softly.
He was silent for a beat. "You have made me so happy... So elated... I don't think I am going to be able to sleep! Or do anything..."
She laughed and asked huskily, a sudden longing swamping her, "Shall we plan something? Maybe a day's trip somewhere? Just the two of us?"
There was a pause again. She smiled. He must be reeling in disbelief at her suggesting this. She giggled, waiting for his elated exclamation.
"I didn't expect this," he said, his tone inscrutable.
She laughed. "Nor did I! But, you are right, it is happening in an alternate universe and I want to experience in this one too..." she said with a new found firmness.
"I didn't expect this from you! I... I have this image of you and... I can't believe you just said what you did!" he said.
She sensed his hurt and disappointment. She didn't know how to react. "But you too feel that way about me, don't you?"
"Feel... feel! And I cherish that feeling. But it is to be worshipped, not muddied!"
Her face changed colour. She felt humiliated. Tears of indignation flowed down her cheeks. "Do you realise how difficult this was for me? I am not a cheap woman. I thought we had something special." She cut the call. She turned to find her husband standing there. Her heart skipped a beat, but he seemed unaware of the storm brewing in her heart. "Is something wrong?" he asked in surprise. She quickly put on a mask and exclaimed something inane that would reassure him.
As the evening progressed, she thought he would call back, apologise, tell her he had been joking, suggest a place... As night fell, her disappointent knew no bounds. She wasn't cheap. He should have been flattered. If only he met her once, he would know what a privilege it was to have her ask him. How many hopefuls she had rejected when she was single. Even after being married, she could see how men worshipped her. Why, men lusted for her. And she had ignored them all!
She messaged him, alternately angry and loving. When there was no response, she was demanding and pleading. Her disappointment turned to frustration as he replied with silence. Her eyes were always on her phone, and her ears tuned to the message alert. She went to the singing app only to see if he had posted any new recordings. She joined his invites but was disappointed when he did not acknowledge. When she asked him why, he blocked her.
Blocked her. Blocked her. Blocked her... Had he blocked her on Whatsapp too? If she called him?
He cut the call. Or let it ring without responding.
She lost sleep, lost appetite, her body trembled, and everything became bleak and hopeless. The effort to pretend normalcy in front of her family tore her apart.
She couldn't take it any more.
She decided to end it all.
That day, she ended it all.
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