Dobie and Me: Chapter 7

Read Chapter 6 here

A heavy silence hung between us. He caressed Dobie, who rubbed himself against Gautam’s leg. Realising how affected he was despite the years that had lapsed, I got up on the pretext of making some more coffee, giving him time to recover his composure.

When I returned with two cups, he still seemed to be lost in his past.

“How is your mother now?”

“Well, she has her days. Is under treatment… but it will worsen…” he shrugged. After a brief pause, he looked up at me and said, “Never hurt your parents, Mahek. You can never live in peace after that. I wish I had been more sensitive and paid more attention. But I made the mistake of thinking it was the usual mother-in-law daughter-in-law problem. I was ashamed of my mother!” He lowered his and covered his eyes with his hand.

I was embarrassed. I made some soothing noises, reaching out to touch his knee in friendly sympathy.

He nodded in acknowledgement and straightened. “Sorry,” he said. “It is a lifelong regret and the only way I can compensate is by making sure I do my duty now. If there is anything I wish to change about my life, it is those days. Maybe, if I had taken her to a doctor earlier, she would have become better… That thought sometimes robs me of all peace.”

The heaviness communicated itself to me. I felt his pain. And I remembered my own, of the time when I lost my parents.

“You know, Shivani was very keen about having a child. I was not, not at that point. I thought we should wait. And then the trouble began. Sometimes I feel glad that we were not hasty. It would have been very hard for the child to bear – my mother’s illness, the fights between Shivani and my mother, the divorce. Maybe that was the most peaceful of the three. We parted by mutual consent.”

I felt sorry for him. Children would also have been a comfort during difficult times. But it was too late to tell him that.  

“So now my sister and I take turns, give the other time to recover and then take over.” He smiled. “I am sorry, I have bored you. I don’t like to talk about it. I don’t know what made me do it today!” He got up abruptly, startling Dobie and me.

“Chal, let me get going. I will call you once I am back.” He paused at the door, got down to his knees and petted Dobie. Then he looked at me and asked me in a hesitant tone, “What about you? Are you going anywhere? Would you care to join me on this trip?”

My eyes widened in shock, I felt a sudden surge of conflicting emotions – excitement, anger, disappointment...

“It is a trekking trip, a group of 10 people, rough life in the outdoors. I am sure one extra person will not be a problem,” he said hastily.

I felt relief wash over me. “My sons are coming over.”

“Oh ok…” Did he sound disappointed? “You won’t be alone.”

I smiled. “I have a life,” I said.

“You mean my visits are superfluous?” he asked in surprise. But I realised he was just teasing and I chuckled. “Thanks, they mean a lot to me…” he said. I looked down.

I closed the door after him and cleared the coffee cups. But slowly, his story took over my thoughts. The pain returned and I remembered my parents – not vividly, but like a blur. I went to my room and took out the album with their photos. And other memories jostled for attention. I went to the laptop and again opened his page. There were updates, some photos from a trip…

(Read Chapter 8 here)