Visiting Past Life

I once went for a past life regression exercise, because I have been immensely curious to know what I was in the previous birth. Maybe Jhansi ki Rani, Joan of Arc... someone like that? I drew a complete blank, remembering not even much of my this life except some very light moments. As I was supposed to leave this life and enter the previous, a crow cawed outside and the image that rose in my mind was that of a crow. The lady leading me along realised the futility of letting me continue the exercise and packed me off.

I went to a palm leaf reader, but the first time, I didn't have the guts to ask about my past. The second time, since I was with my husband, the astrologer - not realising I was more curious about my previous births than the present one - said it was enough if we read my hubby's as my life will get included in that. My hubby had had more success with the past life regression, and much of it was confirmed indirectly in the palm leaf reading too. Only I came back empty handed.

So when I read Paulo Coelho's Aleph, it drew me in immediately. Initially I thought it was a spiritual journey... Or rather, to be truthful, didn't really know what it was about. I was almost dismayed when I saw it was autobiographical. But, the journey he took - a physical one - also caused him to travel back on time.

Lucky he... Or is it unlucky? Maybe he could handle what he discovered. But the girl who he travels back in time with is unable to. It is not always good to know. But, reading his work, there were a couple of things that set me thinking.

One - about how he talks of death and compares it to people traveling in different compartments. Years ago, when a cousin of mine died unexpectedly, the thought that kept running through my mind was - how do I know she is not back at home in another city? That was the only way to reconcile to it.

The other thing he talks of is meeting people from past lives. Sometimes, you feel a connect. There is certain bonding that happens. We say "poorva janma bandham"... maybe that is what it is. But if we knew it, probably our present lives and relationships will go haywire.

I am reminded of my conversation once with my daughter, when she wanted to know why she doesn't remember who she was before. And I wisely told her "because then you will want to go back to that mother..."

Remember that, my dear girl, when the next time you want to visit your past... And since there is nothing that bothers or pain in the current birth, why not go along with your thought - that this is your first birth, really?

The Circle

I admired the circle
Perfect and round
And stepped in to see
It circle around.

No beginning
Nor an end
No confusion
Joined from end to end

I pulled it in
I pushed it out
I played with
The shapely contours

Sometimes big
Sometimes small
I admired how it remained
Always perfect and round.

The world outside
Changed and changed
But in my small circle
It all remained the same

Like a fortress
It kept me safe
But of new things
There was not a whiff

I chafed suddenly
At being confined
But knew not now
How to step out of the line

No start no finish
No gates to show
Where the circle
Had a weak link to blow

It had me trapped
In its narrow confines
Narrowing my thoughts
Narrowing my mind

Open the gates
I cried from within
But the circle of safety
Had me in its grip

Yes its perfect
Yes its round
But never step in
For you can never step out.

Anubavangal: இந்தக்காலத்துப்பசங்க!

Anubavangal: இந்தக்காலத்துப்பசங்க!: ஒரு பெரிய தொழிலதபரைப் பேட்டிக் காணச் சென்றிருந்தேன். என்னுடன் மூன்று இளைஞர்களும் இருந்தார்கள். முதலில் அந்த அதிபரை தனியாக சந்தித்து என்ன ப...

Vanishing Home

He is creepy, crawly and scary. But doesn't he deserve a home still?

The deer from the garden of Eden in my backyard have been transferred to another safe place. The birds will find another home if these trees are cut off. Squirrels and mongoose - no one will mind if they frolic around in the gardens of residences. But what will this fellow do? Burrow deep till he thinks it is safe to come out, or be detected earlier and killed by the labourers? Will it be ever safe for him? Whenever he is sighted - whether in the metro office or in my complex - he is bound to be hunted and killed. A certain death awaits him.

But today, he majestically slid across the tree, baring his fangs at the birds objecting to his presence. An unpopular guy... To be cared for still from the preying man.

Warning Bells

Yesterday's newspaper said:

* Sale of two wheelers in rural areas coming down because of dropping purchasing power.
* Kingfisher plunging into deep sea, and not to catch a fish but to be caught in the net.
* Spicejet - problems

And the other usual stories about not enough medical care reaching people in the rural areas. Not enough schools, infrastructure...etc.

Met a leading academician who has made a name for his mentoring, and he talked of how short sighted government employees were, unable to see the value of rural ventures and making their life hell... Not many would want to get into that segment.
Met a social entrepreneur today who wonders if charity is dying in India.
A full page ad asks for contributions for an old people's home...

And then I see Audis and BMWs and Mercedes on the road.
I see monthly food bills from eating out that can feed entire families for months.
We do charity, no doubt. We do as much as we can... No guilt there.

But the disparity is wide - getting wider. Can the system withstand it? For how long?

If one card topples, it brings the entire pack down.

Any thoughts, anybody, how to stop the shake up?

Anubavangal: குசேலர் - சுதாமா

Anubavangal: குசேலர் - சுதாமா: சுதாமாவின் மனைவி அவலை கட்டிக்கொடுக்கிறாள் இந்த கதை கேட்டு/படித்து வளர்ந்திருக்கிறேன். ஒரு பிடி அவலைத்தின்ற ஸ்ரீ கிருஷ்ணா, பதிலுக்கு தன் ...

Siblings

Sham stood at the entrance, in sparkling white pajama kurta, accepting condolences. He blinked as he saw his aunt come up with a stricken look. "How did it happen?" she asked quietly. He hugged her, his heart in his throat, excepting some women would tell her the details.

His wife Rani's voice surely enough drifted through the silent hall. "We were so stunned when we got the call from bhabhi! How could this have happened to Ram bhayya! He was so young...such young children! Sham was devastated! We have been planning to visit him for a long time. So tragic that we should come here and see him like this!"

A new round of lament started. Sham felt he had to escape the oppressive atmosphere.

**
Ranu hadn't been wrong. They had planned several times, he had wanted to plan several times... But it had not worked out somehow. He felt a dull anger at Rani as he remembered how every time she managed to find an excuse for not visiting him.

"Why do you always find a reason for avoiding Delhi!" he had even asked her once.

"Darling," Rani had responded. "Where is the question of avoiding them! But they have never visited us once, have they?"

"Is that a reason!"

"No dear," Rani had put her arms around him. "How silly of you! But maybe they don't like to have people over. Maybe they think they will inconvenience us! If they think so much about visiting you, his brother, shouldn't we respect that? And then," she had looked at him with that innocent look, "What will you gain by staying there for a day or two? We must visit them properly, you know!"

That had sounded so much more logical at the time. But now? Here he was, very much staying for the next 10 days. And what would he achieve? Could he talk to his brother?

But always, head had ruled over heart - the cost of travel, the inconvenience of dropping in, the fear of discomfiting them... how many doubts, how many excuses.

Could he blame Rani alone for his lethargy? Wasn't he to blame too for going with her logic and reasoning? Where was his brain when she gave excuses for avoiding visiting his brother!

The questions plagued him, but even if he found the answer, what of it now? He couldn't unwind time, could he?

**
As they boarded the flight back, Rani sighed, "Thank god we were able to spend the time there and you didn't have to get back in a hurry. You were wonderful, Sham, doing your duty for your brother's family. But I think, rather than calling the children to us and dislocating them, isn't it better that they stay put in Delhi? Bhabhi has her own people she will be more comfortable with. Send them money once in a while - when they need it, if they ask... You know, otherwise they may mistake us..."

She prattled on. Sham stared ahead, his heart and head busy with their own debate not very different from Rani's.