The Power to Hurt

Though it is the turn of my Tamil blog, the comment on my previous post on sealing the breach made me think. "Friendship means never having to say sorry." But that's for the person who feels hurt to say! I was thinking about it and I felt it means something else. Friendship means never doing something for which you have to say sorry.

A friend is one whom we trust with our secrets, our emotions, our thoughts, plans...etc. Therefore, the person has a tremendous responsibility towards us. If this sounds ego-centric, let me turn it around. A friend is one who trusts us with his or her emotions, secrets. It is our responsibility therefore to preserve and protect the trust and the person. The hurt happens when one breaks that trust. A stranger does not have the ability to hurt us. Only a loved one can. Therefore, I feel any break of trust causes even deeper hurt than otherwise.

Therefore, to say a friend does not have to say sorry doesn't fit in right. What it may mean is, when they genuinely regret it, probably we would be the first to realise and forget. But that prerogative lies with the person who has been hurt. If one realises that one has caused a hurt, to realise what it means to the person and apologise right away would be very important. I believe all those who have experienced being hurt by a friend would agree.

Sealing the Breach

I loved Rock On for the most part. Farhan Akhtar was cool, and Arjun Rampal a darling. But somehow, the way their friendship breaks and the way they meet after years and just move on as if nothing had happened left me feeling dissatisfied. The hurt had gone deep, especially affecting Arjun's life. Would just a hug have been enough, I wondered.

Then came Luck by Chance, where Konkana Sen sends FA off. Though startling since in Hindi commercial movie that's a difficult call for the heroine to take, it was believable but again, dissatisfying. Shouldn't the hero get the girl in the end? (No satisfying us, is there?)

And now comes Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, and though at the obvious level, this is not what the movie is actually about, I think this getting hurt and apologising were handled best here. Just saying sorry is not enough. Meeting after years does is not enough to overlook the past. There is a mindset that is needed in both the persons - the one who causes the hurt and the one who was hurt. Till both are ready, the seeking and bestowing forgiveness cannot happen.

Of course, all three movies, and FA's first venture with Dil Chahta Hai establish him as a great story teller. He seems to linger around this theme of making mistakes and forgiving, forgetting at least a part of the story. There are two-three story lines running parallely, and each handled well.

I will def watch out for more of his movies.

Asterix - Timeless Magic

Picked up one after a long time. Asterix and The Banquet... Despite the distractions of family life, enjoyed the puns immensely. "Why are thanking him. It is we who took him on a ride," says Obelix, literally and figuratively as the duo hijacks a boat a Gaul is holidaying in, in Nice, and Obelix rows it like an express.

"I am not fat! I have a powerful physique, that's all" he protests. That's a good line we can use :)

And the names, of course - Unscupulous, Nervus who runs a breakdown service, Cesar Drinklikafix who runs a pub...

While most comics have great nostalgic value though we tend to outgrow, this is one that anyone from teens to old age can enjoy. I think very young children may miss the puns.

Here is to Asterix.

Anubavangal: Oru Ekkam - The Longing

Anubavangal: Oru Ekkam - The Longing (sirukathai): "சூரியன் அஸ்தமிக்கும் நேரும். அந்தி வேளையில், ஜன்னல் அருகே நின்ற நான், ஏதோ ஒன்றை தேடினேன். ஒரு இனிய ராகம், மெல்லிசையாக என் மனதில் ஓடியது. அல..."

The Wait

The wait, the long wait.
At the window of life.
For a whiff of fresh air
For an exciting sight
For fragrance sweet
For golden light
For showers blessed
For visitor awaited
For changes to life
For love destined
For exciting youth
For comfortable old age
Something, anything
Different and bright
At the window of life
The wait, eternal wait.

The Turnaround

I greeted it with warmth
Making sure it was all there
After all it had grown
With so much love and care
Fed on delicious sweets
And luscious oily fare

All the wrong foods

And exercise rare

And then one morning

Clothes refused to cover

Stretching tightly across

Making me shiver!

Has this come to this then?

The thought made me tremble

And disgusted I thought

I saw it also quiver!

Ambitious and determined

I put on my shoes

Walking long stretches

In the faint hope

That what I had nurtured

I can now undo

So that I can wear

All the pretty dresses

Anubavangal: Tharaasaippola vaazhkkai - The Beam Balance

Anubavangal: Tharaasaippola vaazhkkai - The Beam Balance: "தராசைப்போல் வாழ்க்கையும் போகும் மேலேயும் கீழேயும் இதைவிட தாழ முடியாது என்று வருந்தும் பொழுது திடீர் என்று ஒரு மாற்றம் வானை நோக்கி ஒரு ஏற்ற..."