Twist in Fate

Sona got up from the bed but had to flop back because of the way her head reeled. She called out for her husband Nilesh weakly and then shut up, her discomfiture aggravated by the pain that shot through her heart. There was no Nilesh to respond to her. She should have got used to it, given the way he had been travelling because of work. But he had still been just a phone call away.

When had the distance grown. When had they drifted so apart that she couldn't even call him anymore? How had she missed the signals? Or had he camouflaged them so well?


Be that as it may, she was now standing all alone at some strange crossing in her life, feeling quite helpless without him leading her. She lay with eyes closed, hoping that she would calm down sufficiently and be steady when she got up. Maybe she should call him and tell him of her illness. Maybe she was dying! He would come running, surely, if not for love, at least out of guilt!

She got up slowly, quite determined to let him know how she suffered because of his insensitivity, but the next moment she decided not to. It would be better for him to hear from others how much suffering he had caused her. She herself would bear it all with quiet dignity, making him feel like a cad for abandoning her so unceremoniously.

She completed her morning ablutions with great care, not wanting another unexpected attack of giddiness and some serious damage to her person. She couldn't afford to!

She made coffee for herself and then sat looking out of the window, unable to believe that her life had come unhinged, but yet the world went on uncaringly. How could the man she loved so much not love her, and yet her neighbours go about their chores as if the world hadn't come to an end?

Her world had!

She felt her limbs deaden and her body crying to curl up and vanish into oblivion. Nilesh had not even given her time to realise and understand! Like performing a surgery he had suddenly decided their relationship was gangrenous and cut it with calm precision. And she felt like the discarded tissue, unclean and infected. He had blamed her.

She buried her face in her hands, leaning against the window grill.

The doorbell rang, startling her. She had slept standing for a few moments without realising. It was a wonder she hadn't just crumpled to the floor - some sense of self-preservation still insisting on protecting her from any grievous injuries.

It was just the cook. No, that's the wrong way to think. It was The Cook, a saviour!

She let the cook in and went to her room to get ready. But, where was she supposed to be? She picked up her phone, hoping Nilesh would have sent her a contrite message, apologising and asking to come back. But the last message from him was when he had told her where to look for the details of her schedules. That was... A fortnight ago! A fortnight ago, he had planned this. She scrolled up and read the messages,  realising the gradual change in the tone that had escaped her then. The endearments and love expressions were missing. It was just instructions, telling her how to go about her work. Any coquetishness was ignored. Igonored!! And she had not noticed, laughing at his focus on explaining how she should go about it.

He had held her life, her career in his hands. Why did he let go of it? He had been the wind beneath her wings. How would she survive without him?

She wanted to type a million whys in the chat window but exited. Because, it occurred to her that he would simply ignore if he had not already blocked her.

Her phone alarm rang, alerting her about the shooting for a film she was acting in. 'Oh, my love!' she thought, her heart sinking. If this wasn't love, what was?

"Is there a woman in your life?" she had asked Nilesh in disbelief.

"No," he had been categorical. How could there be, when she was there! Two tear drops stood poised to make their debut and final roll down her cheeks. She wiped them elegantly. "Do you think there is someone else in my life?" she had asked, her voice dropping in shock.

"No, no, no! You are not listening! I feel suffocated!"

"But why? Do you think you are going to die?" she had asked.

He had slapped his forehead. "Not that kind of suffocation. Of being unable to pursue my dreams..."

She had slid closer. "What kind of dreams, Nilu? When have I ever stopped you from doing anything?"

"Do you even know what I want to do?" he had asked.

"But... but... but..." she had fumbled, trying to think. "What will I do if you go away? You manage all my schedule!"

"I am not your manager, Sona. Find someone else for that!"

"But there is no one like you!"

"You will be surprised to know that there are many."

She felt confused. Had he meant finding a manager or finding a husband?

"But I don't want to find another one! Did I say I was unhappy?" she asked, unable to fathom the cause for his displeasure.

He had taken a deep breath, "It is always about you, don't you get that?"

"No, no, Nilu! It is about us. I am nothing without you!" she had tried to cling to him.

He had pushed her away. "I am nothing because of you!"

"What more could you ask for? You are the husband of a star!" she had cried out in exasperation.

That was it. He had walked away.

He had been prophetic, as she soon realised, since men queued up, seeking opportunities, flirting and putting their best foot forward to fill the place Nilesh had vacated. In fact, she was shocked to realise that filling his place in bed was easier than finding someone who could keep her life organised. Most importantly, only Nilesh knew her fears and could soothe them enough for her to face the world with a smile. 'He will come back, he knows I cannot do without him,' she thought. 'I am his life,' she believed.

Whether he knew that or not, he didn't seem to be in a hurry to return. But word about him drifted to her. "Your Nilesh is an expert with his fingers..." one of her colleagues winked as she said this. Sona blushed in anger and embarrassment. "Have you heard him on the guitar!? Oh my, his fingers create magic! And, is he hawt! How could you leave him?"

Sona frowned. "What do you mean? Where did you hear him play?"

"Why, you don't know? He is part of the Scorpio band that plays in The Rosa Park. I believe that band is now signing contracts all over the world!"

"Oh..." Six months? Global contracts? Why had he never mentioned it to her? Why had he never invited her?

She took her phone out to call him but thought the better of it. Instead she dialled another number.

"Hello, Sona, Savi here! What a surprise!"

"Hello! Haha... Yes... Mmmm.. Sorry, I was calling up my doctor. Didn't realise I was dialling your number! I am sorry, her name is Savitri. Must be some mix up," she said apologetically.

"Doctor! Whatever for! Are you okay?" Savi, ever the journalist, asked.

Sona smiled contentedly, knowing the fish was hooked. "Nothing major... Just some giddiness and been under the weather."

"Oh, you poor thing!" Savi commiserated, but Sona could guess how her brain would be processing and planning the headlines.

"Since Nilesh left, I have been pretty low... I have to go... Sorry. Will catch up later," she said, cutting the call. This would whet Savi's appetite and an interview would happen soon.

Right enough, the weekend's supplement carried in bold, 'Break-up Leaves Sona Reeling.' Not a bad headline, Savi thought with a smile and settled down to read in detail. She was a little peeved at the way the article turned out though. It was more about Nilesh and his band and just two lines about Sona - in not very complimentary. terms "Being an actor's husband, and that too a demanding one, left  Nilesh with little time for himself and his dreams. While he seems to be blooming, his band going places, a little bird told us that Sona was wilting. Is this the beginning of the end?"

"The beginning of the end!" What cheek!

But what's this! An online site speculated whether Sona was pregnant, whether a little bump was showing. Sona's face was ablaze with anger. Bump! She felt her perfectly flat stomach and was tempted to write a nasty comment, stopping herself just in time, wondering if this would bring Nilesh back. He was keen on a child though he never pestered her, believing it was her choice. Her career didn't permit her to think of one just now. But would a rumour do the trick?

Sigh, it didn't, not where Nilesh was concerned! But many called to ask if the child was theirs! And she only got pulled up during the shoots because kept getting distracted by the phone that wouldn't ring. The messages and calls from well-wishers and the mean ones waxed and waned, but Nilesh himself remained silent.

"I am not pregnant," she was compelled to announce in the gossip columns and had to read snide comments from frivolous writers who seemed to enjoy the embarrassment they caused her. She noticed people's eyes sliding to her abdomen whenever they saw her, as if they could detect life growing inside her better than she herself could!

Nilesh seemed to be the only person in the whole world who didn't seem to care either about her pregnancy or any other health issues. Instead, he seemed busy giving interviews like never before, talking about his band and his plans - which conspicuously did not include her. To add insult to injury, his interviews became bigger and bigger, while she moved from being the larger picture to an inset to not at all. In none of the interviews did he utter a word about her, though the interviewers tried hard to lure him to say something, anything. Soon, his own fame grew so much that she was just a passing mention, and forgotten in no time at all.

She could hold herself back no longer. She tried calling him one day a year later, but reached only a manager who took a message without connecting her to Nilesh. A day later, she got a bouquet of flowers, "But for you, I would be nothing. Thank you. Best wishes."

She sat holding the flowers for a few minutes - just the kind she loved. She closed her eyes. Then with a vengeance, she threw it and it hit a glass, which broke reflecting much like her own heart had.