I admire my dance teacher for many things - her enthusiasm for life, the excitement she is still capable of feeling when she buys a dress, a piece of jewellery, discovers an eatery or watches a good movie. Of course, she dances with the energy of a teenager and works out to keep in shape.
But this morning, when I was in class, something else struck me as admirable. She has a 90 year old mother who is bed ridden. My dance teacher is single and nearing 70 herself. She rushes around her various responsibilities and travels for programs.
At no point has she thought of leaving her mother in an old age home though that will be one less responsibility for her already rushed life. She has a full time attendant, and anybody who has dealt with them will know what a headache that can be. She travels for programs, and is worried about leaving her mother alone with the attender. She did try arranging a home once for a short while when she was going abroad. But decided against it in the last minute and cut her trip short. This time too she has to leave in a few days. But she says she doesn't have the heart to go.
I think that, beyond everything else she does, makes her an excellent human being.
But this morning, when I was in class, something else struck me as admirable. She has a 90 year old mother who is bed ridden. My dance teacher is single and nearing 70 herself. She rushes around her various responsibilities and travels for programs.
At no point has she thought of leaving her mother in an old age home though that will be one less responsibility for her already rushed life. She has a full time attendant, and anybody who has dealt with them will know what a headache that can be. She travels for programs, and is worried about leaving her mother alone with the attender. She did try arranging a home once for a short while when she was going abroad. But decided against it in the last minute and cut her trip short. This time too she has to leave in a few days. But she says she doesn't have the heart to go.
I think that, beyond everything else she does, makes her an excellent human being.
I don't think she considers it as her duty- its love, plain and simple and that's the way it should be. Old people's home point- well-intentioned musing but not relevant, I feel.
ReplyDeleteMy admiration for u always relevant!
Thanks Ritu for your faith...
ReplyDeleteThe aged can be difficult, and in your late 60s, when u r still living your life like a 30s person, it can be a drain. Were old people living in old age homes today not loving parents back then? It is not just about "loving mommy"...for in the rush of everyday life, irritation can be overwhelming - my teacher is not the only daughter, and she is not the youngest. But she is the only one taking care of her mother.
It is when u still connect to that person that you become bigger than the issue in hand. And no, my dance teacher is not alone in this, but I think I am using her as an example of the very few who are still willing to remember what parents mean and give the care they deserve.