Frustrating Escapism

Well, my aversion to romances is that such men - and, ok, ok, such women - don't exist.

But what frustrates me more are movies like The Wednesday and Payanam. Both deal with an issue closest to every individual's heart. They show a dream that can never be.

While most movies show heroes bashing up villains that can never be, in these two movies (and many like this), they deal with the issue of terrorists and terrorism, how it affects common man and a solution. The Wednesday, the Hindi movie, has an amazing twist after a gripping plot. And one wishes somewhere, someone would do it.

Payanam, a recent Tamil movie, is yet another wishful thinking. A hijack, the very realistic delay in taking a decision, and finally the moment when the decision has to be taken. Nature intervenes, and people are able to communicate a momentous decision despite the suspicious terrorists...but despite such loopholes, it leaves one wishing such things happened in real life.

Well, one can definitely dream on... and maybe we should be happy that movies and books give us that escape into the world of make believe at least for a while.

Growing Up

In 2008, my then six-year-old daughter struggled to comprehend the joke the 10-year-old boy told her. Suddenly in the previous five days, I noticed how much she had grown!

She was given a berth of her own in the train. Onwards, she slept in the lower berth, but while returning, we had to risk sending her to the middle one.

At the resort we stayed, she independently made friends with uncles and aunties and didn’t cling to me as was her wont. If any known adult passed her without noticing, she made it a point to shyly call them and say hi!

But the return was the cutest part. She found out the boy’s name, sat with him as he played on his father’s cellphone. He was sweet enough to include her in the game. Then the two of them lay on the two middle berths in our coupe, while I was on side upper with my younger son. My girl and the boy continued to chat, and I could hear him asking her questions, telling her jokes and patiently waiting for her to comprehend them. I wanted to rush to her and explain, I wanted her to stop talking and sleep. The one sensible thing I did was to resist the urge. I think she was managing fairly well and it did her self-esteem good to be having an “adult” conversation on her own. The two shut up on their own, and went off to sleep without any help from us grown ups.

And, now, she wants to have light skin!

Where do they pick up such ideas! How does their minds expand to understand complex details and life skills?

When do they cease needing us?

When do we start wanting them around us more?

A Framework for Children

Should be academically capable
Should be socially well-behaved
Should be Good at some extra curricular
Should conform to rules

Then we will accept him in school.

All non-conformers, please queue up at the counsellor's.

Parents, beget perfect all-rounders, prim and proper and well-behaved all the time? Go figure

The Brute Question

Once at an interview with Prof Ashok Jhunjhunwala at IIT-M, I asked him why India lagged behind China in development. Everyone I knew at that time was visiting that country and raving about Shanghai and Beijing, the flyovers, the smooth traffic, the works...

He said in reply (not verbatim) - I don't know... The way they work, the government simply assigns lands and if your property happens to be there, then too bad. Whereas in India, that can't happen. Would we want someone to take away our lands without our consent even for development?

The answer for most of us would be a big, resounding NO! Even if it is not "my" land, I don't like my neighbouring haven for birds and animals being taken away for the metro. But a court case on that matter has been dismissed. Which is fine - at least we have the freedom to register our protest. The outcome is never in our hands, in any case.

An addendum to the matter on China, last night a neighbour said that apparently, in Shanghai, as part of plans to expand the roads, multistoried apartments have been marked yellow. Those with the mark have to be demolished by the owners, who are to relocate 80 km away in designated land. If they don't, then the government will demolish at the owner's cost.

India, please remain a democracy.

Revenge

As we sit wondering about the explosion in the nuclear reactor, I cannot help wondering if this isn't nature's way of getting back. There is a Tamil word that fits our attitude to nature appropriately - sorandarathu. Literally dig our nails into the last available resource and grab every iota of it in our greedy hands.

But having got used to our comforts, where is it that we can cut down? Will we stop killing trees, reclaiming land, mining, poaching, drilling, populating and therefore restarting the entire cycle? In retrospect, is industrialisation a boon or a bane?

Getting Used to the Luxury

When the recession hit sometime in 2008-2009, Economic Times Chennai did a supplement on banking and I was roped in to do some of the articles after interviewing heads of nationalised banks. I met the chairman of Karur Vysya Bank, a very senior man, close to retirement or past.

He said: I am not worried about the recession or how India escaped. I am more concerned about the youth of today. My wife and I, we have seen tough times; if we lose money, we can still do without luxuries. We can sleep on the floor, we can walk distances and make do with what we have. But the youth of today, what will they do?

It set me thinking. Even my contemporaries would have seen tough days - when everything was budgeted and we knew to accept "No" from our parents. But do our children know it? My daughter wants to know when summer will start so that she can start using the AC - it's a strict no-no right now because even in Chennai it is not summer yet though the nights are warm. I never take them walking even short distances - preferring to zoom on my bike or take the car. Though they don't get everything they see and ask for - I am still probably old fashioned - nothing is beyond reach for them and they are aware of that.

No harm done...we earn better and to live better on hard-earned, honest money is no crime. But what if life goes topsy turvy? Are we prepared? Do we prepare our children? Can we prepare ourselves for it?

When I see the indulgence some children get - mobiles at 7 and 8 years, branded clothes and what not...I shudder for this generation. Birthday parties in five-star hotels, event managers stepping in to manage the event...is simple living, high thinking a thing of the past?

Never Say No

My mother says that. Let me start with this...in movies, there will be this hero or heroine who will keep quoting his or her mother/father and I have always wondered about such "quotable" people.

I was thrillled that I could start with this quote. "Never say no, for that is what you will get," meri maa kehti thi...truly. Though she said it only in one context which I won't get into here.

But it applies so well to certain things in my life. I said: I will not study literature, become a journalist, learn to type or use computers, or become a teacher.

Graduated in BA Literature
Second job onwards, been in a journalistic set up.
Have to use computers to type in stories, and am pretty fast with typing.
The only thing I managed to achieve till last year was not become a teacher. This year was a dance teacher at my kids' school.

Each has been a satisfying experience. On Mar 12, when the annual day happened, the applause to the show my six kids put up was heart-warming... Will do it again, and again, and again...

Glad that you sometimes get what you don't want. Or else, how will you know how satisfying an experience it can be?