Amrita lay on the bed, her eyes closed wearily. The news coming in was heartbreaking and she felt helpless. At 72, she didn't have the energy to face powerful lobbyists and felt she was letting down the people who had looked up to her all their life. But that was not her area of expertise. She had done what she could and had hoped that the value of the work would speak for itself. Clearly, the land, the lure of the land, would always win over all other considerations.
In every village in Tamil Nadu, it is common to find a Shiva temple, a Vishnu temple and the gramadevata temple. There will be many other temples too, of course - dedicated to Ganesha, Muruga, and so on - some with historical significance and some that have just come up as a result of devotees' desire to see one in their neighbourhood.
So, when visiting a place, it is up to us to choose to go to 1, 2 all 3 main temples based on our family's belief system. For instance, if you go to Kumbakonam, you have the Kumbeshwara temple dedicated to Lord Shiva, and Chakrapani, Sarangapani, and Ramaswamy temples for Vishnu. Uppiliappan is normally our first destination as He is our family deity. In Srirangam, there is the Vishnu temple that cannot be missed and Thiruvanaikkaval Shiva temple nearby is equally famous.
One may say, how does it matter who the presiding deity is. A temple is a place of worship and our prayers is all that matters. I beg to disagree. There is a subtle difference in the energy one feels in each temple. In Siva temple, there is no form to distract us, only a lingam to represent the infinite. It is more subtle, more meditative, more calm.
In Vishnu temples, the deity is more resplendent, bedecked in jewels, with his consorts by his side and other devatas too surrounding Him, depending on the kshetra. Here, with the sanctified water and sadari, the devotee gets more than mere darshan. The lure is His beauty that captivates and binds us to Him in a different way.
Flooded out, hemmed in from all sides
Health, wealth, and people helplessly standing by
No more, no more, I begged
For how long will this go on, I cried
I flaunted all that I had,
I surrendered, throwing up my hands
Power, fame, friends, all deserted me
Even my shadow played hide and seek
My fortunes waned and waxed like the moon
Joys and sorrows alternated, leaving me in a swoon
Like the tide rising high and hitting the trough
My moods swung up and down on a bough
Fighting the shackles I tore ahead,
Drifting rudderless, I felt a dread
Neither here, nor there, I was
And yet everywhere scattered my thoughts
The balance sheet of life showed
There was much longer to go
The good times, yes, but the bad times too?
Will this ever end, I ask you!
Frustrated, I refuse to engage
Watching life go by, like a play
Strange that things still happen
And there is no agony that maddens
Like floating in water I go with the flow
And feel the return of my inner glow
Guided as it were into new journeys
Finding nuggets that shine even without seeking
What I would have grabbed now comes freely
For the joy is in the journey, not in acquiring
With hurdles or free, the path for me is born
To enjoy the flowers along with the thorns
There are no shackles but in the mind
Freedom that waits for me to find
Knowing this, I am at peace
Doing what must be done, and not to please.
Neglected and forgotten, considered a waste of space
Shut out or sealed, converted into an enclosed niche
Finding best use for hanging clothes to dry
Or to house pots and plants myriad
Too much sun, no sights that give pleasure
Mosquitos galore, or just no time for leisure
Excuses many, result just one
Empty space hanging, used by almost none
No promise of memories, no friends lounging
Balustrades, that no hands are holding
Taking up precious real estate, some complain
And even the ones who love it stay away
Oh there, someone relaxing with a book
Finding in the balcony, a cosy nook
A cup of tea, eyes filled with dreams
Distracted by clouds, fanned by gentle breeze
Pausing mid-run to stand and stare
In a space that is a worthy spare.
The toys in the shop
Beckoned me to them
Promising me worlds
Unseen at home
Tantrums aplenty
Heartburns even more
I sought happiness
In things with allure
Toys changed form
Replacing what had just gone
And yet there was something more
That seemed beyond my zone
With wheels on my feet
I ran helter-skelter
Gathering and amassing
The more, the better
And I sought for things
Better and better!
And yet I felt
No contentment ever
Why should I?
When I deserve the best
And for things choicest
Continued my quest
Never a pause
Never a thought
Eyes seeking
Not shutting even after I got
I pause and look back
I think in wonder
Did I really journey
On those paths yonder?
Holding them to me
I don't remember
Did they make me happy?
I ask and ponder
I close my eyes
Let my mind wander
Searching keenly
For an answer
And then I sink
Into a state of bliss
Joyful and fresh
Like the first kiss
Nothing, no thing
In silence golden
Just me and myself
To nothing beholden
I find my fount
Sweet and everlasting
A tap I tap
To quench my thirsting
Nectar flows through my veins
I reach my end and thank my gains
Knowing this, I fly free
In pure happiness and unbridled glee.
