The Power to Hurt

Though it is the turn of my Tamil blog, the comment on my previous post on sealing the breach made me think. "Friendship means never having to say sorry." But that's for the person who feels hurt to say! I was thinking about it and I felt it means something else. Friendship means never doing something for which you have to say sorry.

A friend is one whom we trust with our secrets, our emotions, our thoughts, plans...etc. Therefore, the person has a tremendous responsibility towards us. If this sounds ego-centric, let me turn it around. A friend is one who trusts us with his or her emotions, secrets. It is our responsibility therefore to preserve and protect the trust and the person. The hurt happens when one breaks that trust. A stranger does not have the ability to hurt us. Only a loved one can. Therefore, I feel any break of trust causes even deeper hurt than otherwise.

Therefore, to say a friend does not have to say sorry doesn't fit in right. What it may mean is, when they genuinely regret it, probably we would be the first to realise and forget. But that prerogative lies with the person who has been hurt. If one realises that one has caused a hurt, to realise what it means to the person and apologise right away would be very important. I believe all those who have experienced being hurt by a friend would agree.