Sunday, September 1, 2019

The Square Peg

Raksha glanced up as she cleared the dining table. "Don't you think you are a little too much in love with your phone?" she asked Arun.

"I don't come here to be nagged," he said sharply, without taking his eyes away from the phone.

She shrugged. "Not nagged, but surely, I can tell you when it starts hurting..."

He looked up with a twinkle in his eyes, "Hurting whom, you or me?"


"Both, a little, I suppose," she smiled back sadly. He patted the place next to him on the sofa and she went to him. "And why does it hurt you?"

"I feel ignored," she said simply.

He put an arm on her shoulder, pulled her to him and kissed the top of her head. "I feel at home," he said grinning.

"Then stay at home," she said in mock anger, knowing fully well this is what she wanted - someone who made her house home.

The doorbell rang, startling the two of them. "Who can it be, so late in the night," she asked rhetorically and got up to open the door. She was stunned to see her son and daughter-in-law standing at the doorway, looking grim and with nothing but an airbag between them. An unannounced brief trip all the way from Mumbai! "Are you alright?" her mother's instincts pushed aside all other concerns.

The couple didn't say anything as they made their way past her into the house. Belatedly, Raksha realised the awkwardness of having Arun seated on her sofa right royally in nothing but shorts. She herself was in a nightie with nothing underneath.

Prithvi and Preetha stopped when they saw Arun and Preetha's jaw dropped. She turned to her mother-in-law looking livid. "Who is this man?" Before Raksha could say anything, Preetha said, "Let me guess, Arun." She looked disgusted as she said, "Don't you feel ashamed?"

Raksha bristled at the tone. "Please mind your language," she said, trying to get a hold on herself. She looked at her son, "Is everything alright?"

Prithvi said disinterestedly, "Your dear friend Manisha visited us and thought it important that Preetha should know about the two of you."

"That b*&@!" Arun exclaimed.

"Oh, she is a bitch because she told me the truth?" Preetha turned on him, her eyes flashing. "And you are all holy because you hid it from my family and me? We would never have agreed to this marriage had we known this!" Her glance seemed to skewer them all before it rested on Prithvi, "Our life started on a lie."

"It is not something I like to talk about," he said with suppressed anger.

Both Raksha and Preethi demanded, though in different tones, "What do you mean?"

"I hated your relationship with Arun," he said, looking at his mother. "It's a part I want to blot out of my memory, my life," he said bitterly. Preetha looked smug as she stood with her arms crossed, challenging her mother-in-law to respond to that.

Raksha closed her eyes in dismay. "You never said anything to me..."

"Because it's your life..."

"But my life is yours. I have lived only for you!"

"Yes, I know," Prithvi's voice dipped. "And I wanted you to live yours."

Raksha held her breath as tears sprang to her eyes. "Prithvi..." she said, her voice breaking.

"Wow! What a touching scene!" Preetha said sarcastically, with a slow clap to reiterate her anger. "You can celebrate your mother's right to life and, for all I care, enjoy yours too! You are free to do as you please, but don't expect me to be a part of it." Preetha turned to leave.

"Please Preetha..." Prithvi begged her. "My mom was widowed young, she deserves a chance at happiness."

Preetha turned to face Prithvi, her face contorted in anger, "It is your time in life to have happiness. Choose whose happiness you want." She was out before anybody could say anything.

"Go after her, make her stay at least the night. It's too late for her to be out," Raksha instructed her son. Prithvi went out reluctantly. Raksha turned to Arun with tears in her eyes. "She is right. It is Prithvi's age to find a partner, not mine. Please leave."

"Is there an age for being happy?" Arun asked her softly.

"But if my happiness is the reason for my son's unhappiness..."

Arun pulled his t-shirt on and said, "Nobody's happiness is dependent on others. If they choose to be miserable, it is their choice. Look at my wife, she doesn't care where I am or who I am with... She is happy so long as she gets to do her own thing."

"What about your happiness?" Raksha asked.

Arun was silent for a beat. "It is here, with you."

Raksha looked down. "My son's happiness matters to me, Arun." Just then Prithvi returned with Preetha, who headed towards the guest bedroom without looking at any of them. "Preetha, Arun is leaving never to return... You are right, it is your age to enjoy life, not mine. Please don't go and make my son miserable. Even I would be... Please..." she pleaded softly.

Preetha looked at her mother-in-law silently and then went to her room without a word.

"I am sorry, Prithvi," Raksha said softly. "I never thought you hated having Arun around so much... Thank you for your understanding." She went to her room, silently crying into her pillow.

For 15 years since being widowed, she had held herself with dignity and strength for her son's sake. But once he became independent and seemed to need her less and less, the emptiness had chased her with a vengeance. At such a time, Arun had entered her life three years ago, carrying his own loneliness caused by a failing marriage that he was reluctant to leave because of his children. What they felt lacked the urgency of teenage love, but their love was that much more embedded in surety. She knew her friends were amused and teased her behind her back, but what she felt with Arun, no one else could make her feel that way.

When Prithvi was getting married, she had felt relieved that her son and daughter-in-law would be in a distant land where what she did with her life would not matter. How wrong she had been! She should have been bold, she should have let her daughter-in-law's family know... But would they have agreed to getting Preetha married to Prithvi?

Raksha buried her face in her hands, feeling humiliated at being caught red-handed and putting her son through such torture.

Unable to sleep all night, Raksha got up early and went to the kitchen to make herself tea. Prithvi was sleeping on the sofa, Preetha's room was locked.

She made tea for herself and sat down on the dining table when Preetha emerged, her eyes swollen from crying. Seeing Raksha, she hesitated. Raksha felt a pang but managed a smile as she asked, "You drink only coffee, right? Shall I make some, though I am not good at it."

This seemed to mortify Preetha, who shook her head. "I... I am sorry! I spoke harshly last night," she blurted out. "I don't think I would like anybody to tell me what to do with my life!" Raksha felt miserable and looked at the girl with a plea. "So I have no right to tell you that either! I was just... just too shocked at the way that woman told me the news... Yes, she had been a bitch! She made it sound very cheap! And I was stupid..." She stepped forward hesitantly. Raksha got up and took the young girl in her arms. "Can Arun uncle come for lunch today? I want to apologise to him too!"

Tears of joy flowed down Raksha's cheeks.


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